Saturday, September 18, 2010

One month down...much more fun to go

So blogging on blogspot.com is really cool. No really, while trying to think of something legitimate on which I could waste my time writing on, I was perusing the "stats" section of my profile, which gives some details on number of page-views and where people are viewing from. Now I know I've looked at my page often (hoping desperately for comments or more followers), but apparently there have been 250 total page views, 223 of them are from the US, but I also have had 5 each from the United Kingdom and Mexico (gracias!), 4 from Canada, 3 from Germany (danke!), 2 each from China, Italy and Lebanon, and 1 each from Australia and Brazil. 30% of my page-views have come from people using Firefox (like me!) and 30% have come from people using Internet Explorer. 52% of page-views have come from people using Windows (get a Mac), while 41% comes from Mac users (good choice), with 2% from iPhone users and 1% from Blackberry users. 70 of my page-views have come from my link on Facebook, while I have gotten 21 pageviews from people who viewed a website: Good Jesuit, Bad Jesuit (here's the specific link of my post (use the "Listen Now" feature, very creepy): What I miss about Georgetown). I do apologize for throwing these numbers out at you (blame it on the Math major in me), but I find it both fascinating and frightening at the same time that the web can keep track of so much information. But given the number of page views, I still only have 6 followers...come on people!

So as this post's title indicates, I have been here for over a month now. I am still not sure how much of my work experience I will post on this blog. I doubt I will give many stories about my job especially when they involve the clients, since, one, I've signed a confidentiality agreement and two, I wouldn't want my life and troubles plastered all over the internet (and clearly information goes pretty far even on a small blog like mine). So I will let you know now that I wouldn't expect to hear intimate stories about my job over the course of this year; I just don't feel comfortable giving out that information. I'll definitely write things I've learned through the year, but I feel like it will be more general topics rather than specifics.

On that note, I'll switch topics to living in community and relating to the 4 values of JVC (spirituality, social justice, simple living and community). So far we ('we' as in my house community) have been living without internet and we do not have cable (although our television does work and gets several stations like Fox, CBS and ION). This is something I expected coming into this year: living on a small monthly stipend means that every decision regarding money and expenses becomes so much more important; I simply cannot afford to do things without thinking that spending money now, means less spending later. And going without internet was going to be a real test: I spent countless hours in college on the internet just passing time (thank you very much Facebook); I don't know how life went on before the internet. We've all heard the argument of the internet being a blessing and a curse countless times before, so I won't go into that. I get access to the internet at work, so I can check my gmail on a regular basis. And when I have time on the weekends, I can go to the Berkeley Public Library and get internet (like right now). But there are times when having internet at home would be easier. And there are some people who don't use the internet regularly at work or don't get it at all. With this in mind, we had a internet discussion this week on whether or not to invest in internet. Given that we have 8 people, the money was not a large factor in our decision making process and could not be a scape goat (it should come out to no more than $5 a person per month, very reasonable even on a limited budget). But the large decision was how does internet usage fit in with these values of living simply and living in community. I fear that great evil of the internet-that it will become a distraction to our living in an intentional community, and it seems like having internet would go beyond living simply (for me at least). But we had a conversation about the internet. I had been going back in forth in my head thinking I want it at some point and not want it at others. Mostly I want it for reasons of being able to try and find streaming websites to watch Phillies game, Eagles games and Hoyas games, and to stay current with a few tv shows (House, White Collar, etc), and so I came to a vote of yes. Of course when we sat down and started discussing the internet, I went back to my fear of a breaking down of community and of it not allowing us to live simply, and started going back to thinking maybe we shouldn't get the internet. It was quite interesting that during our conversation we focused a lot on living simply, and finding alternative ways to living simply. With 8 different people in the room, there were 8 different definitions of living simply in the room. And I think that's the beauty of living in intentional community; that, while having 8 different people living together can cause tension and conflict at times, so much else is brought to the table that it counteracts any tensions. We are lucky that there aren't extremely strong personalities in the house, and so dialogue can occur and I think it brings us that much closer and builds our community more. We've been here for one month and known each other for about a month and a half, but I definitely feel like our community has grown stronger each passing week. I finally ended up voting in favor of the internet (which we'll get in our home soon) and I still fear that people will wind up on their computers more, especially on work days, when most people have been relaxing in our common room either reading, watching a movie or talking after dinner, but given the attitudes of our community, I will feel comfortable bringing this issue up again if the internet comes between us...and I'm pretty sure this means our community is heading in the right direction.

I'll be keeping you updated on community life a lot through the year, but until I decide to post next time, go Phillies!!!!

(p.s. The internet discussion paragraph was more a stream of consciousness writing, so I apologize for the lack of fluidity in the paragraph)

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Georgetown, JVC and The Shawshank Redemption

Happy September!

So, two and a half weeks of work have passed and I am still enjoying myself. Maybe it’s because my whole life up to May 22, 2010 had consisted primarily of class and homework, and now my life consists of 8:30 am to 5 pm weekdays of work and I can come home and not have to worry about any assignments due the next day. I am not implying that it is easier, since I come home exhausted and am usually in bed by 11 or 11:30 (a far cry from my normal 2 or 3 am bedtime at Georgetown). Also, while I always tried to stay attentive, some class lectures were not important and I did not need to be “on my game,” whereas at work I need to be always attentive and ready for whatever comes up. But I like being busy and having things to do; there have been a few days when I have an hour to kill and end up doing nothing, which is a complete bore, but I’ll probably end up eating my words on those days when I feel like I’m way too busy. This week is going good so far. I am on my own now since my FBI background check cleared; the guy I have been shadowing the first two weeks is back on the floor and I have the ability to be alone with the clients. Between Monday and Tuesday I had a doctor’s appointment and 3 dental appointments (totaling at least 12 cavity fillings). I accompany the clients into their appointments, which is interesting since I can see and hear how the examination goes, but also boring since cavities take a while to drill and I hate the sound of the drill. On the plus side, I’ll be able to read a lot of Sports Illustrated when I take clients to their appointments! (I got through the whole summer double issue yesterday, even the articles I wouldn’t usually read)

It’s really weird to be writing this when I know today is the first day of classes at Georgetown. Even though this is the first time since before my Senior Year at The Prep I did not move in to Georgetown, I am more than happy with my current situation. The Bay Area is a great place to live, the people I work with are nice, I am enjoying serving the population I am serving, and my housemates are awesome (they know about this blog, so I pretty much have to say something positive about them…at least for now, since we’ve only lived in our house for almost 3 weeks). I still miss my weekly traditions at Georgetown, like the $1 Vanilla Coke from Vittles or Snaxa (maybe because soda is a luxury that I can only afford with 3 gallon bottles of non-name brand soda at the dollar store), GUGS burgers (maybe because of the 8 people in our house, 3 are vegetarians, and meat is expensive, so we’ve been going sans meat for most of our dinners. Fortunately, I get lunch at work and they don’t go light on meat :) ), GPB events (Ace of Cakes at Georgetown really makes me jealous), and Steck’s Mass and the 7:30/8pm Mass (I’ll leave Pep Band off this list for the moment, since it’s not basketball season yet). I get a little taste of the 8pm Mass at the Church I’ve been going to, since they use the same Gloria, only they do not do it nearly as well as at Georgetown.

When we moved into our house we found a large selection of VHS movies that has accumulated through the years. While there are some movies that leave much to be desired (Circle of Friends probably tops this list…if you don’t know what it is, don’t waste your time finding out), there are some treasures in the pile, like Field of Dreams and The Shawshank Redemption. We’ve watched a few movies so far, and watched The Shawshank Redemption last week. (WARNING: This is where I am throwing spirituality in) If you’ve seen it, you know it is a great movie, and I highly advise anyone to watch it if you haven’t yet already. One of the key facets of the movie is hope versus fear (the movie posters note that “Fear can hold you prisoner; Hope can set you free”), and, with a touching ending, hope wins out. But it really makes me realize how important hope is in my life. For as much as I tell myself otherwise, I don’t like change. Anytime I arrive at a new situation, I always get nervous because of fear of the unknown. I get comfortable in my life and usually don’t want things to change. That’s not to say that I don’t like variety in my life; I like unexpected things happening, just as long as their in the framework of a normal life. I don’t know if this clarifies what I mean or just makes it more confusing, but I like spontaneous normalcy. One quote from Morgan Freeman’s character in The Shawshank Redemption, Red, drives my point home: “Terrible thing, to live in fear. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back where things make sense.” I like when things make sense. I was a wreck the night before I moved into New South at Georgetown back in August of 2006. I was so afraid of beginning college and changing my life that I kept tossing and turning in bed and got very little sleep that night. Similarly before I left for JVC, I was down Cape May for my family’s annual week down the shore. That was normal and I always look forward to that vacation. But this year I had to leave halfway through to begin my life in the “real world.” I got back home after 1 am and had a flight in a few hours. I didn’t get any sleep at home, one, because I had to finish packing, but two, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to get to sleep because I was nervous and afraid. In both instances, what I was afraid of. I couldn’t tell you; I just was afraid of change. But in both instances, and throughout my life, change has never been a bad thing. I could probably have done better (and gotten more sleep) had I hoped instead of feared. I was so nervous of things going wrong (not like other people either at Georgetown or JVC, not enjoying myself, etc) that I never could see the positives that could come (and hope for good things to happen). One of my favorite lines from the movie (it’s one of several on my Facebook favorite quotes) is, “Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” I remember my Mom telling me before we left for the airport that all I could do was trust in the Lord (see I told you spirituality was coming). And for me, looking in hindsight, that is so true. Whether you want to call it trusting in the Lord, or hope, or any other way you may put it, it is essential for human life. If we didn’t hope that life would be worth living, that we get something out of waking up every morning, then we would all be living in fear, either fearing inevitable death or some other fear that would consume our lives. For me, placing my trust in Jesus that I will be taken care of is comforting and soothing; and it’s that same thing with hope: hoping that all will be well in the unknown future is comforting. And just like at Georgetown, I have been taken care of for my first month as a Jesuit Volunteer in Berkeley.

I don’t know if this is something I’ll continue doing, but I liked adding pictures to my last blog post. So I’ll do it again: my casa went into San Francisco on Saturday and just walked, but saw many iconic landmarks: