So, two and a half weeks of work have passed and I am still enjoying myself. Maybe it’s because my whole life up to May 22, 2010 had consisted primarily of class and homework, and now my life consists of 8:30 am to 5 pm weekdays of work and I can come home and not have to worry about any assignments due the next day. I am not implying that it is easier, since I come home exhausted and am usually in bed by 11 or 11:30 (a far cry from my normal 2 or 3 am bedtime at Georgetown). Also, while I always tried to stay attentive, some class lectures were not important and I did not need to be “on my game,” whereas at work I need to be always attentive and ready for whatever comes up. But I like being busy and having things to do; there have been a few days when I have an hour to kill and end up doing nothing, which is a complete bore, but I’ll probably end up eating my words on those days when I feel like I’m way too busy. This week is going good so far. I am on my own now since my FBI background check cleared; the guy I have been shadowing the first two weeks is back on the floor and I have the ability to be alone with the clients. Between Monday and Tuesday I had a doctor’s appointment and 3 dental appointments (totaling at least 12 cavity fillings). I accompany the clients into their appointments, which is interesting since I can see and hear how the examination goes, but also boring since cavities take a while to drill and I hate the sound of the drill. On the plus side, I’ll be able to read a lot of Sports Illustrated when I take clients to their appointments! (I got through the whole summer double issue yesterday, even the articles I wouldn’t usually read)
It’s really weird to be writing this when I know today is the first day of classes at Georgetown. Even though this is the first time since before my Senior Year at The Prep I did not move in to Georgetown, I am more than happy with my current situation. The Bay Area is a great place to live, the people I work with are nice, I am enjoying serving the population I am serving, and my housemates are awesome (they know about this blog, so I pretty much have to say something positive about them…at least for now, since we’ve only lived in our house for almost 3 weeks). I still miss my weekly traditions at Georgetown, like the $1 Vanilla Coke from Vittles or Snaxa (maybe because soda is a luxury that I can only afford with 3 gallon bottles of non-name brand soda at the dollar store), GUGS burgers (maybe because of the 8 people in our house, 3 are vegetarians, and meat is expensive, so we’ve been going sans meat for most of our dinners. Fortunately, I get lunch at work and they don’t go light on meat :) ), GPB events (Ace of Cakes at Georgetown really makes me jealous), and Steck’s Mass and the 7:30/8pm Mass (I’ll leave Pep Band off this list for the moment, since it’s not basketball season yet). I get a little taste of the 8pm Mass at the Church I’ve been going to, since they use the same Gloria, only they do not do it nearly as well as at Georgetown.
When we moved into our house we found a large selection of VHS movies that has accumulated through the years. While there are some movies that leave much to be desired (Circle of Friends probably tops this list…if you don’t know what it is, don’t waste your time finding out), there are some treasures in the pile, like Field of Dreams and The Shawshank Redemption. We’ve watched a few movies so far, and watched The Shawshank Redemption last week. (WARNING: This is where I am throwing spirituality in) If you’ve seen it, you know it is a great movie, and I highly advise anyone to watch it if you haven’t yet already. One of the key facets of the movie is hope versus fear (the movie posters note that “Fear can hold you prisoner; Hope can set you free”), and, with a touching ending, hope wins out. But it really makes me realize how important hope is in my life. For as much as I tell myself otherwise, I don’t like change. Anytime I arrive at a new situation, I always get nervous because of fear of the unknown. I get comfortable in my life and usually don’t want things to change. That’s not to say that I don’t like variety in my life; I like unexpected things happening, just as long as their in the framework of a normal life. I don’t know if this clarifies what I mean or just makes it more confusing, but I like spontaneous normalcy. One quote from Morgan Freeman’s character in The Shawshank Redemption, Red, drives my point home: “Terrible thing, to live in fear. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back where things make sense.” I like when things make sense. I was a wreck the night before I moved into New South at Georgetown back in August of 2006. I was so afraid of beginning college and changing my life that I kept tossing and turning in bed and got very little sleep that night. Similarly before I left for JVC, I was down Cape May for my family’s annual week down the shore. That was normal and I always look forward to that vacation. But this year I had to leave halfway through to begin my life in the “real world.” I got back home after 1 am and had a flight in a few hours. I didn’t get any sleep at home, one, because I had to finish packing, but two, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to get to sleep because I was nervous and afraid. In both instances, what I was afraid of. I couldn’t tell you; I just was afraid of change. But in both instances, and throughout my life, change has never been a bad thing. I could probably have done better (and gotten more sleep) had I hoped instead of feared. I was so nervous of things going wrong (not like other people either at Georgetown or JVC, not enjoying myself, etc) that I never could see the positives that could come (and hope for good things to happen). One of my favorite lines from the movie (it’s one of several on my Facebook favorite quotes) is, “Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” I remember my Mom telling me before we left for the airport that all I could do was trust in the Lord (see I told you spirituality was coming). And for me, looking in hindsight, that is so true. Whether you want to call it trusting in the Lord, or hope, or any other way you may put it, it is essential for human life. If we didn’t hope that life would be worth living, that we get something out of waking up every morning, then we would all be living in fear, either fearing inevitable death or some other fear that would consume our lives. For me, placing my trust in Jesus that I will be taken care of is comforting and soothing; and it’s that same thing with hope: hoping that all will be well in the unknown future is comforting. And just like at Georgetown, I have been taken care of for my first month as a Jesuit Volunteer in Berkeley.
I don’t know if this is something I’ll continue doing, but I liked adding pictures to my last blog post. So I’ll do it again: my casa went into San Francisco on Saturday and just walked, but saw many iconic landmarks:
We miss you at Georgetown. Natalie has tried calling Matt Berenstein "Matty B," but it's not the same. Glad you're having fun out in CA (and for a minute I was going to tell you to start brushing your teeth before I realized those 12 cavities weren't all in your mouth) and hope you'll be back on the east coast to visit us soon.
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